Four simple principles to guide a winning job search

While I am not usually a big fan of self-help books, a little book written by don Miguel Ruiz titled The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (1997, Amber-Allen Publishing), caught my attention when a thoughtful client shared with me that she is finding these four simple but clear ideas useful for focusing on what matters in her life and in her job search.

The book, despite sounding a bit ‘new agey’ and referencing ancient wisdoms, does carry a thoughtful message about four principles that all people would do well to live by. In fact, the principles are so fundamental that modern psychologists, especially cognitive-behavioral therapists, have developed entire theories of practice based on similar concepts.

To sum it up, don Miguel encourages us to reflect on ourselves and identify those irrational thoughts which interfere with our ability to move forward with confidence. He asks us to become more mindful about our assumptions and our thinking, and make a deliberate commitment to specific ways of understanding and engaging with the world.

As well as being an excellent life guide, it seems to me that these four approaches have the potential to be especially useful for job seekers. The book encourages people to reconsider their old ways of behaving and thinking about their world, and to commit to a more deliberate approach. The author identifies four agreements that people can make with themselves that can meaningfully enhance the integrity with which they conduct themselves:

First Agreement:  Be Impeccable With Your Word.

When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.

By “impeccable”, the author refers to taking full responsibility for your actions and words without being unduly self-judgmental or self-critical. It also means committing to integrity and following through on your commitments. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. It might sound simple, but, as the author admits, it isn’t easy.

What does this mean for the job seeker?

Conduct your job search with integrity and critical self-awareness:

• Know your weaknesses and be willing to discuss them in interviews in a suitable way
• Don’t claim to have skills that you do not have and apply for jobs you that you obviously cannot do
• Do take a chance and apply to those jobs you think you can do, even if they are a bit intimidating
• Make promises you are able to keep, and keep them
• Think about what integrity means to you on the job — share your thoughts in the interview
• Share with interviewers when you took a responsibility and followed through in previous jobs: a time when you took on a complex project and was able to deliver, or a time when you took responsibility for an error
• Don’t complain, blame or criticize others
• Follow up when you say you will follow up
• Be on time and well prepared for your interviews

Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally

Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… if I see you on the street and say, ‘Hey, you are so stupid,’ without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about me

It’s a challenge, but it is empowering to learn to take a rational view of your negative experiences without feeling like it’s all about you, or not feeling responsible for every disappointing event in your life. This also isn’t as easy as it sounds. It takes practice and deliberate thinking.

What does this mean for the job seeker?

Knowing when to take responsibility for an incident at work and when not to is an important skill in coping with the pressures of teamwork. Teamwork skills are highly valued by employers, so your ability to share situations where you dealt with rejection or failure in a mature and sensible manner can be impressive in interviews.

Job search can be frustrating and difficult. Job seekers often face disappointment and rejection, which is hard not to take personally. Interviewers can be abrupt and unfriendly, and employers can be unresponsive or take a long time to make decisions. Most frustrating for many job seekers is that job applications seem to often be ignored and good candidates not given an opportunity to show what they can do. It isn’t always your fault.

Knowing that you are not always to blame can be a useful way to stay focused and positive through the challenges and setbacks of a gruelling job search.

Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions.

We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. (…) We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.” “The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. If you don’t understand, ask. Have the courage to ask questions until you are as clear as you can be.”

Here, the author challenges readers to not try to guess what others intend. He calls on people to suspend their self-blame, anger or other emotions, and to try gather information rationally first.

What does this mean for the job seeker?

The stress of job search often results in communication breakdowns, false assumptions, frustration and unspoken anger. Job seekers who are able to keep an open and rational mind, and to gather information before jumping to conclusions, might benefit from otherwise missed opportunities.

Sometimes good job opportunities are hidden gems which job seekers might miss because of false assumptions. That low paid job might have good advancement opportunities, or other hidden benefits. An employer who asks about whether you have children might want to tell you about their day care benefits, rather than to gather information that can be held against you. The solution? Ask for clarification, pose questions, open dialogue, before reaching your conclusions.

Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best.

There is just one more agreement, but it’s the one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits”. (…)  “Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next.”

To make major changes in your life, you need above all, to commit to make a persistent effort. The author calls for determination and focus, tempered by some self-compassion. Keep trying and pick yourself up when it doesn’t work, and try again.

What does this mean for the job seeker?

Make a commitment to conduct a high quality job search. Give yourself a chance to be successful by doing your best to be focused, planful, rational and patient. Treat each job opportunity as the one that might result in a job, which means that you should not take short cuts in the quality of your letters, applications, interview preparation, thank you letters and every other aspect of the job search process. Share your enthusiasm for excellence with employers in interviews, with examples from previous jobs that demonstrated how you did your best.

To sum up: a job search that reveals your integrity, rational thinking, confidence, maturity and commitment to excellence is an excellent way to impress your next employers and to begin a life long journey of principled and impactful living.